My eye lids feel heavy, my mind is not structuring my thoughts consistently. My body is telling me to sleep, “for a week” it shouts, I am not listening. I focus on tonight’s game, keep the streak going, the clouds are gray, better not rain and the thought repeats. I want to go for a massage but I will probably just fall asleep and not enjoy it. My coffee tastes especially good, but it is not clearing the fog.
I drove by Sandy Hook, thoughts of my daughter and hoping she is doing well. I broke the law and text her, “I love you sweetie!” – Sometimes you need to be a rebel. I was listening to “Everything I Own” by Bread and a tear rolled down my cheek, life is short, they grow up too fast.
The journey is ending, I am going to miss being everywhere, the comfort of the National anthem, “Take me out to the ball game” and the noise of the crowd. I would do it again I think…
2 thoughts on “Day 195 “Contemplating…””
Just read this. Miss you and love you very much. I will always be your little girl just in a grown ups body!