Tag: Happiness

I was eyeing the cab driver suspiciously, I inched my car closer to the one in front of me.  I wasn’t going to let him cut in front of me, we were staring at each other.  A couple from the Reds game just got into his car and wanted to go to the Casino.  The car in front of me also inched closer to the car in front of him, we were on the same page.   I was annoyed by these cab drivers, seven of them are in the left turn lane and waiting for fares, the stop light is controlled by a cop and he is holding all the cars for five minutes at a time while he fans stream out of the stadium.

I positioned myself at the end of the game near the left field to make a quick exit, my car was in the parking structure across the street, it was going to be smooth for me to beat the traffic.  When Ryan Braun struck out to end the game, I darted out the gate, across the street into the structure, GPSed Cleveland as I started my car and was off, when I hit the exit, I was surprised to see a cop waving me out, I hadn’t paid for parking, what good fortune I thought, a guy gave me a free ticket to the game, I only spent a few dollars on snacks, Cincinnati was going to be cheap!

GPS told me to drive away from the stadium, I was having a great night, no crowds to deal with either, I was feeling guilty that I didn’t pay for parking, at that moment the GPS wanted me to turn right, then right again, “shit” I was headed back towards the front of the stadium!  “Karma”, I thought for not paying for parking!   Brake lights were everywhere in front of me, I was in the left hand lane which was just creeping along as the cars in the right hand lane would have bursts of movement.  I was getting frustrated by the minute.  As I reached the front of the ballpark I saw the problem, the cab drivers!  I was incensed, I only had 900 feet, a left turn and I would be on I-71 heading to Cleveland, but these “assholes” were holding everyone up.  I made a quick movement and got into the right lane, I pulled up along side one, I glared at him, he looked at his phone, the cop held up traffic for what seemed like forever, the fans seemed to walk slowly across the streets, “idiots and assholes” I was thinking.  The couple got into the cab to go to the casino…

The cabbie looked at me and knew I wasn’t going to let him in, his fare rolled down his window and asked if I would, “No” I said defiantly, “Are you kidding me!” I added.  The guy looked surprised, his girlfriend looked up from her phone also shocked by my frustration to his question.  The cabbie smirked, “Oh did you just come from the game” the guy asked, I said yes, “I have been sitting in this traffic for a half hour” I lied, the game had only been over for 15 minutes.  At that moment, I remembered all my good fortune, the free ticket and parking, “you can cut in” I told him, “wow was I a dick” I also said, his girlfriend started laughing, “I don’t know why I reacted so poorly, that was very rude of me”.  The guy said it was okay, I stated again how “dickish” I was, the light finally turned green, the cabbie darted in front of me and made it through the light as it turned yellow, I went through as it turned red, I am sure the guy behind me was cursing me for letting the cab in.

For all the enlightenment I have gained on this trip, I realize that I need to work on some little things…  Why those five minutes I lost sitting in traffic were so important to me, I will never know, I didn’t need to be to Cleveland until 7 tonight!

I don’t know why I have lost so many days, I think I have written everyday and kept track but it seems I haven’t kept up, today is Day 222, so this post is written about yesterday.

I talked about commitment and perseverance a little bit yesterday.  These two things have played heavy on my mind the last few weeks.  I personally have struggled all my life at being committed to one thing, be it a job, a relationship, or philosophy.   I admire people that can dedicate themselves to these things. I feel satisfaction that I committed myself to the upbringing of my daughter, she has turned out to be a well adjusted young lady.  I had lots of help, wasn’t perfect, but I persevered when things seemed overwhelming.  She was the one thing I couldn’t easily let go of, when she came into the world all other things didn’t seem as important, I still had the desires but they weren’t as intense, with that said when she went off to college, my desire to do what I had a passion for came back intensely.

I struggled with thoughts and commitment of one career over another, I wanted to make money, have a comfortable life, but what was really hard for me to “square” in my mind was that I had to compromise myself as a person.  With this comfort, I had to give up some of the hopes and dreams I had , I wanted to go out and explore and report what I have seen.  That is why I think I felt so discontented for such a long time, I focused on my daughters well being, making sure she didn’t miss out on things I missed out on.  I dreamed of being a leader of people, of having a well respected job in a well respected industry.  I wanted a beautiful home and family, I think most people want these things.  The problem I faced was I never knew what I wanted to commit my life too, or what I felt my purpose was.  When my father asked me last summer, “What would you do right now if you could do anything?”  I knew and I answered honestly and forthrightly.  I didn’t think about what it all meant or how I would be perceived.

After I answered, I immediately thought how child like my answer was, baseball, traveling and writing.  People would think I was crazy, immature or trying to run away from my responsibilities.  It also occurred to me that maybe, I was the one that was saying these things about me, fearful that I would actually do such a foolish thing.  It was a huge commitment, but exciting, I craved excitement, do something not many have done.  I pondered and thought about this idea for a few months, bringing it up to friends and co workers.  I got the idea on paper, got help from a friend to write it up, showed it to my family.  I was surprised by their responses and encouragement, the stars were aligning, I was going to do this, I never doubted that I couldn’t do it, I would persevere when it got tough.

I never had something happen so easily in my life, I learned by doing, the more I wrote and traveled the easier it has become, the people around the game easy to spot.  It is now coming to the end, worry has crept in, money is running low, I have committed to writing a book.  I can’t go back to who I was, I am no longer that person.  I am a writer, a person passionate about the people around the game of baseball but also a person of this world, if this wasn’t just an escape then I will have to commit myself to writing and the people around the game. Is this a silly thing to commit too?  I have friends committed to much bigger things, the planet, the poor, how do I combine my passion to all of that?

Commitment and perseverance, things I have lacked, I want the comfort of what money can buy, a nice apartment, bed, etc…  But I have been given much happiness through this game and what I have gotten to do, it would be foolish not to continue.  I have ideas, if it is meant to be, the money will come, the stars will continue to align.  I am in Cincinnati, I will be attending my 240th baseball game tonight, the Reds are playing the Brewers.  The game doesn’t mean much, both are out of the playoff race for the most part, but I will sit and watch, maybe walk around and just enjoy the energy, I will contemplate ideas for how to write the book!  This has been a journey of enlightenment…

It has been a few days since I have written!  I have been all over Florida, well Tampa and Miami.  Also a couple of days in Atlanta, right now sitting in a café in Chicago.  This is the last week of the MLB season, my consecutive game streak will end on Sunday in Milwaukee!  I hope to go to some post season games, we will see how much money I have left.  After today I will be in Cincinnati, Cleveland, Detroit, back to Chicago and the last two days in Brew City!

I been able to sleep in very comfortable beds five of the last seven days.  A friend of my Aunt and Uncle graciously invited me into her home for 4 nights, thank you Pat!  A boyhood friend called me after a Braves game and gave me a bed for the night, thank you Tom!  I also got to watch a Tampa Bay Rays game with a couple of friends from High School I haven’t seen in at least 25 years, I had a great time Dody and Joey, can’t wait to see you two at Wahsburn’s homecoming next summer.

I need to finish strong, I needed sleep and got it!  I have been thinking a lot about perseverance and commitment.  Those are a couple of words that have stuck out in my mind this week, a friend used to call me “uncommittal” regarding another aspect of my life and I gave it much thought lately.  Another friend (my queen, she will know who she is by this reference) responded to a Facebook post about something I posted regarding another friends daughters athletic prowess, I had given all the credit of her daughters athletic talent to her husband, my queen responded quickly and sternly by saying that my other friend taught her daughters perseverance.  For what ever reason that stuck with me, it was so true, my un-athletic friend was always determined and persevered.  I have more to say regarding these two things another time, but I have to say those two interactions have stuck with me and I was very grateful and happy I had them, they made me realize a couple things about my self.

I am not going to write to much to day, the driving from Atlanta to Chicago has me a little tired.  I have to say I have met some great people on this trip, I love the interaction and conversations I have had at the ball parks, but I forget to talk about the wonderful people I have met at Starbucks.  Yesterday, I had a great conversation with an amazing woman before the Braves game, we talked for two hours about many things from Donkeys to traveling in India, it is these interactions that I will miss most when this journey ends.  Everyone has a story to tell!  Thanks for reading today, I plan on finishing strong, only seven games left and I will accomplish another goal!

“Don’t tell me how to run my business” the guy said after I waved him off when he told me the price of the ticket.  He wanted $30 for a $34 ticket.  “I can buy a ticket for $24 at the ticket window” I retorted and started walking away, I apparently insulted him with my offer of $20.  “No you can’t, cheapest is $32” he said defiantly, the guy was starting to get under my skin.  He was showing everyone around how much of an idiot I was, “you are a jerk” I said scornfully as I walked across the street, I was feeling goofy about the amount of attention that was draw to him and me.  His aggressive sales approach was one I hadn’t come across on this trip, “I will take the $20 for the ticket” he yelled when I reached the other side of the street, I turned and looked at him in disbelief and just yelled back “you are one arrogant asshole, I will spend the extra $4”, I didn’t like how I reacted to this guy, people were staring.

“I am sorry that you had to hear that” I said to the couple that was walking be side me, “I hate scalpers” the lady said, “I don’t mind them” I told her, “They serve a function, that guy was just being a jerk”. She didn’t know what to say, I felt uncomfortable, I decided to cross to the opposite side of street where there was another scalper, I asked him for his cheapest ticket, he said $30 for a $34, just like the other guy, I said I will give him $20, he said no, I said okay and started walking away, he immediately said $25, I kept walking he yelled $20.  I didn’t like these guys in Tampa, to aggressive and arrogant.  I knew there was $24 tickets at the window as did they, scalpers check and they hustle.  As I crossed yet another street, I saw a ticket laying on the ground in front of two guys, I picked it up and asked if it was theirs, they said it wasn’t.  It was for the game and a prime location, $79 face value.  I was laughing, my Karma was good.  One of the guys reminded me to “pay it forward”, I assured him I would.

I have learned to deal with scalpers the last couple of years.  I have never bought a fake ticket and have only felt cheated once.  Most scalpers are really “humping” before a game, buying tickets low and selling them at face value if they can.  I actually like negotiating with them, these guys know their market and the type of fan they are dealing with, most fans go to only a few games a year so scalpers will always go above or at face value initially with people, most people will buy slightly below face value, they feel they got a deal and everyone is happy.  If a scalper has good tickets for a premium game he knows what they are worth and he will usually only sell it at that price.  I paid $45 to scalper at Target Field for a Brewers-Twins game, it was face value, he had paid $20 to a fan 20 minutes before, he was nice but said he will get $45 , since it was a decent seat and a premium game.  He told me to come back if I couldn’t find one for less.  I tried and failed.

I also know that a lot of  scalpers lie, like the guy above.  While in Boston I was walking up to the ticket window and a guy was trying to sell me a ticket for $30, I said I will buy it if I can’t get a cheaper one at the window, he said he would wait for me since he knew I couldn’t, I said we have a deal then.  He didn’t think I would wait in line and check, he lied, I bought one for $20, he didn’t wait around for me.  Another time in Baltimore, there was a day-night doubleheader, I went to the first game and decided to go to the second game if I could buy a ticket from a scalper for $10 or if I could get a free one.  When the first scalper approached me I asked for his cheapest ticket, he said $24, I asked him what he had for $10, he waved me off and laughed.  I walked away, he called me back, he said I have this one you can have for $20, I told I am only willing to pay $10, he laughed again and wished me luck.  I knew my chances were slim.  I would wait around until right before game time, if I couldn’t get one, I would leave.  The scalper and his buddy walked by me a couple of times and smiled, they asked if I have found that $10 ticket yet, I told them it wasn’t looking good, they felt satisfied.

About 5 minutes later and right before game time, I heard a police officer ask a guy if he needed a ticket, she had one, he didn’t need one, I walked over and said I needed one, she gave it to me.  It was a premium seat 7 rows off the field, I thanked her, looked for my scalper friends, they weren’t around, wanted to smile at them, they would have appreciated the irony.  I went to my seat, thanked the three men that gave the cop the ticket, they told me they were given the tickets also and didn’t want to waste the 4th.  It was a Yankee game and Derek Jeter was playing!  I smiled at my good fortune!

Scalpers are business people, they need to make money, I understand that some are jerks, but for the most part I have enjoyed the interaction I have had with them.  A lot of people don’t like the negotiation, I happen to enjoy it.  I had a scalper in Omaha apologize to me for being “short” with me during a transaction, I didn’t need a ticket but wanted to find out what tickets were going for on the “street”, I told him what I was doing after, we shook hands, I understand why he was frustrated with me.

Getting to the end of the journey, want to mention that I accomplished another goal last night.  I went to a game in Miami, it was the final stadium I needed to attend to  hit all 30 MLB parks, along with a game in the 48 states, I am feeling accomplished.  I don’t know what it all means but it feels good.

As I sit at yet another Starbucks, this time in St Petersburg, Florida, I’m reflecting on the last eight months and trying to “square” in my mind that this is ending.  As much as I want to get back to some normalcy, I fear that I will fall back into being comfortable and not happy.  I know that I will find joy talking with and seeing my daughter regularly, that is a given. What I am talking about is the feeling I have of getting up and not caring that it’s a Monday or a Friday.  People will say, “Yeah, but you were living a dream.” I agree, getting to do what I have done. However, I have met many people that love getting up each morning and going to work.

I am sure Derek Jeter would continue to play baseball everyday if he could. He has more than enough money to travel, buy, and do whatever he wants.  What I have found out is that you can be very happy living with hardly anything. I have had help in this “dream” venture. Without my brother Chad, this project would have been over a few months ago. I need to make a commitment to myself, and to all that have been apart of this journey in any way, that I will continue.  I have more than enough material to write a book. If I didn’t do that I would be missing out at another opportunity to grow and overcome something I have always wanted to do. But, I have told myself that “Nobody would read it”; or, “It is too hard”; or, “What I write makes no sense”.

I met a lady in Williamsport, who is a paramedic and was working the Little League Championship game. Her crew was on a medical cart in front of the scoreboard, they were standing on it to watch the game. When the game ended, they continued to stand and were oblivious to the crowd taking pictures. Some were grumbling that they were in the way, but no one said anything. I finally asked if they could move, she said, “Yes, of course” and they didn’t hesitate to get out of the way. The had not give much thought to their ‘position’ interfering with ‘picture taking’; and, I was probably a bit stern with her and her crew. I left the game and went to a local Starbucks, as I sat and tried to write a post that day, I thought about how “stern” I must have seemed. As I was thinking this, the paramedic came in.  I went up to her thanked her for moving, she laughed about it and we had this great conversation for the next three hours. We talked about an array of subjects like we were old friends.  I had to leave, needing to get my next stop. We exchanged numbers. And, occasionally, she has checked-in, after she has read my blog, to comment.

I bring that story up because it was her that made me finally realize that what I write, or how I write, affects people.  I am not dismissing the importance all the other people that read and have commented. I am trying to show that people have come into my life at moments when I have least expected it and conveyed a message that many others have had already; but, I didn’t quite hear. I hope she doesn’t mind, but part of text she sent to me the other day said this, “…it might say something about your character if I tell you that each blog I have read just makes me smile about how you interact with people and the world. Not to mention the things you are experiencing – it’s your take on them that is so enjoyable to read…”  That hit me, especially the word “enjoyable”, why I don’t know. Chad brings up stories that he tells people to read. My sister, Debbie, will call  laughing about something I have written and I love it. I have reread different posts at times and I tend to get caught up in the grammar, or sentence structure, etc.

My mindset has been that this will end. I need to ‘realize’ that this part of my journey will end.  I have the ability and material to continue writing. I can actually do another project concerning baseball (I already have another one in mind that doesn’t involve traveling all over the country and won’t cost very much). I will write a book about this adventure. I think I worry to much about things I can’t control, like getting it published and if people will read it.  I have to realize that the joy is in the process. Yes, I will have to get a job. Everyone needs to make money to survive; but, I don’t have to let it determine how happy I am going to be day to day. I am hitting my stride in my life and have always been a late bloomer.

I still have some goals I need to meet regarding this journey. Tomorrow, I should accomplish another one. I will be in Miami and will have gone to a game at all the MLB ball parks.  The last one is to go to a game everyday during the baseball season. The baseball season ends with the final out of the World Series. Unfortunately, I might have to settle with going to the end of the regular MLB season. It is what it is. Life is like that sometimes. Even though, I do hope I will be able to get to some of the post season games.

Today I am back in Boston. I went to a game between Baltimore and Boston, not much of a game, Boston won, 10-6.  I got to see a family I met when I was in Cape Cod a couple months ago, the Hardons. They have been very encouraging since I met them and it was great to talk with them.

Fenway Park is my favorite MLB stadium and this was the second time I was here during this trip. I had the same visceral feeling, the history hit me; so, I didn’t watch a lot of the game. I wandered and caught the game from different site lines. I thought of the players, the most remembered and the forgotten, who played on the field.  I marveled at the how well the place has been maintained and improved. It is a museum. I had the urge to donate to the “Jimmy Fund” every time I walked by a donation station. Simple and unexploited, no sponsor was attached to it, it seems pure.  (Red Sox fans know about the Jimmy Fund)

Sponsorship has been a part of the game since its inception. I personally think is overdone.  Even at Fenway, I cringe at the signage on the Green Monster. Historically, the wall was always intended to have it; but, I just don’t like it.  When you walk and read all the brick walls, seeing the vintage signage that is painted on the brick, something hits you – or it does me.  I am a nostalgia freak admittedly, but it is an art form from “back in the day” to produce these commercial pieces. Today, we let a computer replicate such things, it feels empty.

I read somewhere that as you get older you tend to lose your interest in politics and start appreciating history since that is where you will eventually end up and this is happening to me with the game.  It is the history that I have chosen to embrace since it is so much apart of America.  I am excited to see what happens with Wrigley Field, with Fenway’s example, I am positive they will master the update.  I hope other gems, like Bosse Field in Evansville, Indiana, get the love and attention it needs.

The day was cool, felt like fall was in the air. I wore a sweatshirt, pants and shoes for the first time in months.  I am fretting about the end of this journey. I still have well over a month left and I know I will get to the end of the regular baseball season.  I hope to be able to make it to the end for the World Series. That has always been the plan and I need a little bit of luck to do it.  The world has already conspired to make this trip happen, relatively easily.  I am starting to think what it is going to be like sleeping in a bed every day and taking a shower in my own place (also daily).  I hope that I continue in some capacity within baseball. I went into this without expectations, to say that I was void of all would be a lie, it has been a roller coaster of expectations, especially when I was getting interviewed every day.  We will see where I end up…

Chad, my brother, has pushed and supported me throughout. He reminds me how important it is for me to finish.  I can honestly say that I have never had a moment where I said “What am I doing?”, until now.  Worry has crept in I admit; however, I have absolutely no regrets. I am doing something that very few people have done and maybe, none other than myself.  Why that is important, I will never know. I wish everyone could follow their passion. I’m just so grateful that I have had so many people supporting me.

Being at Fenway stirred up all the memories I have about the trip, things that I haven’t written about. I think of all the nights I have slept in the car. I would say, “More than 70% of the time.” I am so glad I made that decision to ‘camp out’, or I would never have been able to finish.  I have learned so much about the game, people, and especially myself.  I have been told that I am bold, brash, crazy, and fearless. May be when judged from the outside looking in, but there have been many days and nights I had to push myself through insecurities and fears. I do feel more confident. Fenway stirred all of this contemplation in me…

Have you ever wondered why the MLB baseball season is so long?  Why do they play 162 games?

To answer the first question and part of the second, I think we need to go back to roughly 1904, the beginning of the “modern” era of baseball. At that time there was no one broadcasting games on the radio; but, newspapers had already been covering the sport for years. Some games were actually broadcast by telegraph to saloons. You have to think of baseball as daily entertainment. There was a recognition of the willingness of people to pay to see grown men play the game.  The entertainment choices were limited and the baseball owners were filling a need for the general public in a world without TV, Internet, and instant gratification.

The game grew in popularity with more and more people coming out to the ball park.  There were eight teams in the National League and eight teams in the American League.  Each team played their seven opponents in their league 22 times for a total of 154 games per season.

“In 1913 Western Union paid each team $17,000 per year over five years for the rights to broadcast the games. The movie industry purchased the rights to film and show the highlights of the 1910 World Series for $500. In 1911 the owners managed to increase that rights fee to $3500.”  (The Economic History of Major League Baseball)

With the advent of radio, more people were exposed to the game.  On August 5th, 1921, Harold Arlin of KDKA, broadcast the first baseball game between the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Philadelphia Phillies (Pirates won, 8-5).  The MLB owners originally saw radio as a threat to the value of their franchises. They resisted putting their games on the radio for fear that customers would stay home to listen to the game for free rather than come to the park. Owners soon realized that this media only helped the popularity of the game.  More and more people came out and listened to the games. The schedule of 154 games was optimal for entertainment and financial purposes. However, the long schedule did something else that a shorter schedule would stymie. Teams would need both skill and endurance in order to win. Luck was less of a factor.

So to that end, the test of a champion would be performing consistently over an entire season. The long season taxes the pitching staff and the bench has to contribute. If it was one game a week like football, one good starting pitcher could carry a team a long way. Baseball might be less demanding physically but it more than makes up for it with the mental game.  My buddy, Dan (Ante), loves to point out that it is a marathon and not a sprint. I wholeheartedly agree with him. Also, this shows why the entire organization needs to be on the same page during the season. A team might consist of the 25 players that are shown on their roster; but, if they don’t have players in their pipeline at the different levels to come up, you will not win consistently.    It has always been an organizational championship, one player will never make or break a team in baseball.

Save the season of 1919, the 154 game schedule didn’t changed until 1961. In 1961 the American League expanded to 10 teams, playing their nine opponent’s 18 times each.  The following year the National League expanded to 10 teams and they switched to the 162 game schedule.  As the MLB has evolved over the years, the formula has changed on how the schedule is comprised.  Today every team now plays 19 games against each of 4 opponents within its division (76 games), and six or seven games against each of the 10 opponents from other divisions (66 games), plus 20 interleague games.

I hope I gave some clarification to those questions. The MLB season is a long one and I think the teams that make the playoffs year in and year out, for the most part, deserve to be there.  I didn’t touch on the preponderance of some teams that can afford to buy enough talent to put them on the cusp every year.  I wanted to try and answer why baseball has a long season and the amount of games it has settled on.

I went to see the Washington Nationals the last two days.  I had a great experience on Friday night and this afternoon. I sat in the players’ family and friend section.  I have to thank Pam LePlavy and her sister Mandy Zimmermann for hooking me up with tickets (Mandy is married to Jordan, Pam is part of Oredocker Nation). I had a fun time sitting with a college friend, Anthony Rendon, Nationals third baseman and a friend of Nationals centerfielder, Denard Span.

It was interesting to get to talk with both and to hear some behind the scenes stuff; especially, since both Rendon and Span had great nights at the plate, with each being involved in plays that cost the Nationals runs.

I am not going to write too much tonight. It was very hot and humid today, I am worn out and want to get some sleep. I will be at the Yankees game tomorrow. They are retiring Derek Jeter’s number, so I need to get there early to find some decent parking, and hopefully, won’t have to pay too much for a ticket.